A Grateful Comparison

Does is bug you when someone says, "Oh, I totally know

exactly how you feel?"

Although we may be able to relate to someone on some level,

we don't really know exactly what they're going

through.

So, with this truth in mind, I humbly make the following

comparison between ministry families and military families.

The "ministry family" part I know... I'm living it and

loving the life I'm called to.

The "military family part"... I don't pretend to really know

what their lives are like, but from those I've known and the

blogs I read and the few I currently know, I've seen some

similarities between the two.

I'm listing this comparison ONLY to heighten our respect

and admiration for them & the courageous lives they lead.

Here's my observations:

- Often live away from their families

- Move from place to place

- Must force themselves to make relationships even though

it's possible that they'll move again soon

- Learn to rely on friends as family (we find this a blessing!)

- Good at packing boxes & moving

- Are acquainted with "lonely"

- Knowing that their husbands are on the front lines for the cause

- Risk is a way of life

- Strong Wives/Moms who must function for long periods

of time while the husband is away

(NOTE: my husband travels quite a bit, but I don't even pretend

to relate to the military wives who are separated from spouses

for months/years!)

My comparison must end here... I know there's so much more that

they endure,

that they sacrifice,

that they give...

I'm so VERY grateful to the countless families who live a completely

different lifestyle than I could ever truly relate to... all because they

have chosen to serve our country...

to serve us!

With tears in my eyes I write...

Thank you, Service Men & Woman and your families!

Your sacrifice is unlike ANY other!

I respect you, admire your courage and pray for you regularly!

Our freedom, our flag, our country means SO much to me!

Thank you for protecting all that we hold dear!

Leader or Parent?

Even in the best of circumstances, chances are...

There's Someone who is unhappy.

When there's 5 kids, age ranges span from 17 yrs. to 3 yrs...

there's gunna be

someone who is bored,

tired,

thought we were doing something else,

"just knew" this would happen,

is thrilled & delighted,

or is quietly containing their frustration with the others.

That's what parenting really is...

it's LEADERSHIP!

The qualities of leadership should reflect those of

parenting in many, but not all, ways!

Loving

Nurturing

Looking out for the best of everyone

Looking out for the best of each individual

Seeing ahead

Being willing to have others angry at you for making a decision

Still caring for the ones who are angry with you

Keeping no specific hours

Hugging

Loving

Showing the right way to live by living the right way

Following through with what we say we'll do

Loving

Carefully explaining what's expected

Disciplining & correcting

Teaching

Laughing

Loving

Taking Risks

Believing in those who are following

Oh yeah, and loving, more... and more!

The list could be for PARENTS or LEADERS!

Kinda weird, huh?

Obviously, Leaders don't have the authority that parents have,

and leaders don't "make" people do things, and leaders are

not responsible FOR making people do the right thing.

Leaders DO have a huge responsibility TO other people.

But not FOR them.

Godly decisions are always gunna tick off someone...

but when we're leading we must expect it.

We must please GOD! And follow the leaders God's placed

over us!

Hopefully, the 21+ years I've been a leader has been sharpening

my parenting skills.

And, I trust that my nearly 18 years of parenting has been

sharpening my leadership skills.

FEET! I'm blogging about Feet?

(Guys, don't click away yet. It's not really a girlie post!)

Last week my Mom took my 3 daughters & me to get a pedicure.

Our FIRST ever!

I hate feet. They creep me out.

Because of that, I've kept my feet decently-cared-for

and nails polished since I was in 4th grade.

That said, going to a salon to willing let someone ELSE

touch my feet was a big step. iiiickk

But ... it was OK... really.

HOWEVER...

when she first touched my feet

I squirmed... it tickled

when the little medal tools came into sight

I turned away

when the giant cheese grater-thingy came into view

I closed my eyes & concentrated on breathing

When it was all said & done... I liked it.

Honestly, My feet looked the same as they always do.

But they didn't FEEL the same!

They were different!

Softer. Smoother. Deep down- much better!

Much like our hearts...

(I know, I'm comparing feet to hearts...and that's kinda gross!)

We do what we've always done...

-normal Bible Reading

-routine prayer

- casual Christian conversations..

and the results of those efforts seems fine enough

good enough

our hearts aren't gross or dirty looking

we appear fine

But if we let the MASTER perform the heart-treatment

of His choice, then we find out that there's MUCH to change!

He soaks us in His loving kindness

He softens our edges

Smooths away hurts that have turned into harden calluses

Gently uses the tools of His Spirit to reshape the unseen areas,

Makes us more confident.

We may appear the same to other people,

but we know that our heart is different,

our attitudes & motives are changed...

because we let the Master, JESUS, do what He loves to do.

Random Ramblings

Totally Random thoughts!

(some may tick you off or offend you... sorry)

Front Porch picnics are nice

"Nickname-kinda-words" that I can't stand

- Hubby

- Wifey

- Kiddos

- Preggo

It's a bummer when someone gives you a gift but

it comes with so many expectations attached that

you can't really enjoy the gift. (The kind of expectations

that make the giver "feel" or look good,)

Stress isn't all about scheduling.

Little Cream Waffer cookies are ridiculously yummy

and should only be made once every few decades...

cuz they're so small you can just pop'um in your mouth.

Not good!

House hunting in Detroit is an adventure... to say the least

(and that's a subject for a whole 'nother blog post)

My daughter graduates this weekend

I'm thankful for air conditioning

Personal growth hurts... but it turns out to be

a good hurt

I'm an organizationally challenged person,

but I've learned heaps of tricks over the years

that work for me... Thank You, Jesus!

In a few weeks I'm gunna go to bed and not

have to get up for ANY reason... and I can

just sleep & sleep that day! (I'm smiling with

a dreamy look on my face right now!) hee hee

My youngest daughter is completely finished

with her school work for this year. Besides some

online testing she... We ... are done! Again,

thank You, Jesus!

Oh, the laundry calls my name.

What are you ramblin' about today?

Ode to the Couch Cushions

It's raining outside... AGAIN!

So.. couch cushions have become many, many things...

A bouncy (aka "Moon Walk")

A stage for all types of musical talents to be showcased

An Olympic Diving platform (thanks to the sturdy

coffee table nearby)

A reason to make up some funny names from some far-away

countries while you pretend to be in the Olympics

A balance beam

A bridge across a raging river

A boat lost at sea

A excuse for little boys to take off their shirts cuz they're

"swimmers"

A high flying plane crossing foreign continents

A good cause for sister to put on her swimsuit

A giant drum set

and many more... yet to be thought of

Menu Plan Monday, May 17, 2010

It's a big week... and weekend!

I'm going for casseroles that can be made ahead

and familiar foods that I can whip up blindfolded.

MONDAY

Lunch- ABC Sandwiches (Avocado Bacon Cheddar)

Dinner- Little Mamas (Sorta like a Tostada)

TUESDAY

Lunch- Ham & Scalloped Potatoes

Dinner- Boxed Mac & Cheese, veggies

WEDNESDAY

Lunch- Lasagna, salad

Dinner- Cottage Cheese, Fritos, carrots

THURSDAY

Lunch- PB & J, Peaches

Dinner- Creamy Chicken Enchilada's (a variation of this)

FRIDAY

Lunch- Chicken Gumbo

Dinner- Meat Roll ups

SATURDAY

Lunch- Crock Pot Roast & Potatoes

Dinner- TBA

SUNDAY

Lunch- Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings

Dinner- Pizza

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MONDAY

Lunch- TBA

Dinner- Ranch Dorito Casserole

TUESDAY

Lunch- Warm Chicken Sandwiches, carrots & celery sticks

Dinner- Waffles, peaches, yogurt

For more ideas click on Orgjunkie.com

She's growin' & I'm sorta Freakin'

Our oldest daughter went to Prom last night...

and I'm freakin' out.

It's not about "boys & all that can happen at prom."

She's with solid Christian girls at an unusual type of "prom."

(a Christian formal at a golf/country club w/her girl friends)

It's not about "getting older" or whatever other weird

thoughts that float in & out of my head.

It's not about "wanting my baby back" or anything that we

often hear in times like this.

It's about relationship.

Nothing stays the same.

Even family relationships grow, change, reshape, etc.

As I watch my oldest daughter experience the last few

events of her "high school years," I'm very aware that

things are about to change. Not only will she be moving

out this fall, but our relationship will forever be different.

DIFFERENT does NOT mean "bad"... just different.

But an era of her life (and mine) will be ending soon...

and I can hardly stand it.

She's lovely... and she loves JESUS.

I couldn't wish for anything more in her or in our relationship...

But, life is changing.

And, as much as I feel strange & weird about this huge impending

change, I trust Jesus.

He knows the plans He has for her,

for me and how all that fits together.

Yes, my oldest daughter's life is changing & growning...

and so is mine.

And, that's about all that I manage gleen from this experience

at the moment... I think I'll go watch "America's Funniest Home Videos"

with my younger kids now!

Talk-to-Myself-Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

- Thankful for a sweet & relaxing Mother's Day. Lovin' the pretty

hanging baskets of flowers on my porch & the tough tires on my

car (truck/suv)!

- Thinking about many of the woman who have invested in my life

over the years: Mom, Grandmas, Mother-in-Law,

Aunt Doris Buxman, Aunt Millie Bay, Cindy (Hoke) Huey,

Pauletta Mickley, "The Sisters"who taught so many S

unday School Classes, Beth Burough,

Lisa Buxman, Marcia Buxman, Judy Young, Mrs. Dunn,

Trish Anderson, Cindy Steel, Susie Buxman, Kathie Thomas,

Lois Graber, Mrs. Garnsey, Mrs. Fleenor

- So happy that the livingroom is painted... and I'm really

wanting to get started on the kitchen, but it must wait

- My oldest daughter is graduating in a week & half...

I'm freakin' out! She's lovely and we're incredibly proud

of the lady she's become!

- Next week is our last week of homeschool for the school year...

THANK YOU, JESUS!

- Cold rain is so stinkin' yucky! I cannot stand it!

- Looking forward to seeing my Bro-in-Law & Sis-in-Law in June

- My To-Do list is large and I'm still trying to use my

organizer to the fullest

- Sleep... not getting enough... zzz... oh, wait, what was I saying?

- I need another journal, only 5 pages left

-Excited to read "Becoming a Woman of Freedom"

By Cynthia Heald with the other ladies of Real Church.

We handed it out for Mom's Day & we're all dedicated

to reading a chapter a week so we can talk about it

before & after church instead of just saying stuff like,

"How was your week? I like your hair?"

- Gunna try to find a dress to wear to Graduation...

haven't worn anything but skirts for the last 9 or 10 years!

Weird, huh? (well, skirts when I wasn't wearing pants!)

- Missing my friend, Jodi.

- Looking forward to summer.

- Praying for my friends, Stephanie & Shay

- Still being patient as we await the "Midtown Miracle!"

(are you still praying?)

Menu Plan Monday, May 10, 2010

This week I'm finding ideas from www.allrecipes.com,

and also trying to use of lotsa food that we already have.

We ended up eating out a bit last week since the livingroom

was a wreak - I was painting it.

I'm proud to say that it's done!

and things are back to normal... if you call:

3 softball games, Prom, out-of-town friend visiting,

Midtown Work day, Homeschooling, Baby Shower &

regular church services, "Normal."

ha!

(But, hey, I love my life & when it's not busy I kinda go nuts!)

____________________________________________

MONDAY

Lunch-Waffles, Rasberries, Yogurt

Dinner- Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches, Carrot sticks

TUESDAY

Lunch- Broccoli Alfredo w/homemade spaghetti

Dinner- French Fry Salad

WEDNESDAY

Lunch- Crockpot Corny Ham & Potato Scallop

Dinner- Veggie Wraps

THURSDAY

Lunch-Homemade W. Wheat Mac & Cheese

Dinner- Grilled Chicken, Broccoli, Crockpot Mashed Potatoes

FRIDAY

Lunch- Homemade Pizza

Dinner- Burritos, Rice

SATURDAY

Lunch- W. Wheat Sandwich Wraps

Dinner- 10 Minute Szechuan Chicken, Rice

SUNDAY

Lunch- French Dip Sandwiches, Veggies & Dip

Dinner- ABC Sandwiches (Avacado, Bacon & Cheddar)

For more ideas check out Organizing Junkie

House Hunting in The D

We've been house hunting in Detroit (the city... not a suburb)

for 13 months now & have seen over 50 houses. Now we're

currently in the process of buying one... but there's lotsa ducks

that still have to line up. (to coin a corny phrase... hee hee)

Walking through all these bits of history has taught me more

about Detroit, then & now. I've learned lots from our friend,

Tim, who's basically a walking Detroit-Housing-Historian.

Thanks, Tim!

As frustrating as "house-hunting" can be, it serves to enrich

my understanding & love of Detroit!

Here's a tiny sampling of the many interesting things we've seen.

(I've taken an average of 30 pics per house. That's 1500 pics.

Most are deleted, but I saved a few.)

(historic but poorly functioning kitchen)

(elevator, built in 1920's)

(Missing furnaces, water heater, copper pipes)

(bathrooms with nothing in them)

(historic beauty... and secret rooms!)

(Remains of a kitchen in a 5 yr. old house)

(If only the inside reflected the same care as the

outside of this showed)

We continue to pray for GOD's plan...

not our's!

Mother's Day 2010

Many GREAT things can be said about my Mom, Martha Hoke.

Here's just a few:

- Taught me about JESUS!

- Read her Bible every morning (I know cuz I used to check

to see if her bookmark moved daily... it did!)

-Taught me to smile evening if I don't feel like it

- Showed me how to cook

- Used to get up super early so she could have

breakfast ready for us (she still gets up early)

- Made my wedding gown (and I got married in the 80's

so it was over-the-top covered in details, including a huge

letter "C" in the train made of lace & beads, etc!)

- Used to put out the "Happy Birthday" table cloth

every year for the day & made all my favorite meals

- Didn't hesitate to let me "help" her do just about

anything regardless of my young age or lacking

skills.

- As I was growing up, I never remember feeling like I was burden to her

Thank you!!!

I LOVE YOU, MOM!

(and there's so much more that I could say!)

(My Mom & me this past winter)

Many GREAT things can be said about my Mom-in-Law, Lyn Chilton!

Here's just a few:

- Loves my Husband with all her heart

- Has treated me like a daughter from the beginning

- Has never insulted or put-down my efforts as a wife/mom

- Laughs often

- Remains an example of a Woman-in-Ministy

- Smiles often

- Has given me many cookbooks from her vast collection

(and now her oldest granddaughter is about to inherit a few)

- Doesn't seem to mind that I tweek the "Chilton Family Recipes"

to fit our family a little better

- Helped me cook my first Missionary Fund Raiser

(Speed the Light Dinner) for about 150 people

(a big pot of Chilton Chili)

There's so much more that could be said about you,

Mom Chilton.

I love you!

Thank you!

Mom Chilton with her Grandkids in Aug. 2009

HE Started it

It just happens.

It probably already has...

if not, it will.

You're involved in ministry.

You give,

and give.

You invest yourself

your time,

your ideas & creativity,

your family,

you.

You give yourself to the people that God's called you to

But it still happens

A few of those recipients get restless,

stop liking what you're doing,

discontinue their involvement

and arrive at the conclusion that YOU,

yes YOU,

are the reason their lives are not going well.

YOU?

You're the one who is called to love them!

You're the one who HAS been loving them.

Of course you're human,

of course you've failed the perfect-test,

but you LOVE them!

You've given & given to them and many, many others.

But ... it's still your fault!?

sigh

Now what?

A wonderful pastor's wife & I had a short but formidable

conversation about this recently.

Should you...??

Try to separate yourself & your personal life from your ministry?

Keep the two apart?

I think NOT!

If you're truly giving yourself

(and all those areas of your life that are listed above)

then it's impossible to separate ministry from self.

If you love people ... that's who you are ... it's you!

You... anytime, any place.

Not limited to "classic ministry moments"

Love's gunna hurt.... it does, it will, it already has.

But love is wonderful!!!!

Rewarding!

The call of God to ALL His followers

(not just "ministers")

LOVE!

(and as Toby Mac said many years ago... "Love is a VERB!")

We have to keep smiling,

loving,

praying

& knowing that it hurts,

sometimes...

all the while keeping our arms open to the "hurter,"

so they'll realize they're always welcome back into our lives

and...

continue fighting to keep our hearts open to everyone else,

whether we know them yet or not,

whether they "deserve" it or not (in our opinion)

because, quite simply...

JESUS keeps on loving me

& I often find myself

wearing the "hurter" badge in our relationship.

"We love because He loved us first."

1 John 4:19

Menu Plan Monday, May 3, 2010

Things I take into consideration as I sit down to plan my weekly

menus:

- Family's schedule: If we're comin' & going then I'll plan

crockpot meals so I'm not tempted to "just go out to dinner."

- The Weather: If it's nice, grilling. If it's hot, crock pot so I don't use

the oven. If it's rainy/cold, maybe soup & sandwiches, etc...

- The Pantry: What do we already have

- The Sales Ad: This applies only if I'm NOT shopping at Aldi. I'll plan

the menus around what's on sale & what I have coupons for, too.

- The Season: What veggies & fruits are in season right now. They're

plentiful and usually a cheaper price.

______________________________________________

MONDAY

Lunch- Confetti Pepperoni Soup

Dinner- Slow Cooker Chicken Parmesan,

TUESDAY

Lunch- Monte Cristo Sandwiches, Cucumber Tomato Pea Salad

Dinner- Fresh Veggie Plate

WEDNESDAY - Cinco De Mayo

Lunch- Chili Cheese Rice Burritos

Dinner- Do overs (leftovers)

THURSDAY

Lunch- Mary's Cobb Salad

Dinner- Scalloped Potatoes with Ham, Green Beans

FRIDAY

Lunch- Pasta Salad (with tons of veggies)

Dinner- Pizza

SATURDAY

Lunch- Toasted PB & J, Strawberries, chips

Dinner- Crockpot Potato Soup

SUNDAY

Lunch-Messy Max's (aka Sloppy Joes), Carrots, Pickles

Dinner- TBA

Frustration, Lies & more...

Several friends

Different conversations

Same topic

Frustration, anger, resentment, unforgiveness

Any form of these most often comes from the same thing...

THINKING ABOUT SELF & Believing LIES

Sounds harsh

Before you start listing the exceptions, let me say that

this is NOT always the case... but often!!! Often!

For example... Think about it:

A loved-one fails to recognize a rather significant situation

in your life (or they fail to respond the way you think they should).

You feel sad.

You thought they would paid attention to you & your needs.

They used to.

Maybe they're too busy now.

Maybe they care, but not really as much.

Hmm, You probably are good enough anymore.

Your friendship isn't good enough for them.

They have been hanging out with lots of new people lately.

Your relation is definitely heading in a bad direction.

This changes everything.

Wow, my other friends haven't really contacted me either.

I'm probably not too valuable to them either.

sigh.

I don't feel like connecting with anyone either.

Sounds like a sitcom.

But it's fairly true of how quickly we allow our brain to think the

worst and then start believing it.

We think the worst of others.

We think the worst of ourselves.

Lies devalue everyone involved.

(That's the opposite of JESUS)

The more we think about something the more it becomes truth to us.

We'd like to blame to devil, but we do this lying to ourselves.

Honestly, it's an on-going battle to refuse the lies that wanna live

in our thoughts. But it's up to us.

Feed our minds the truth.... THE WORD OF GOD!

and keep reeling in our thoughts to the TRUTH!

When unforgiveness has a hold of you ask the Holy Spirit

to point out what lies you've been believing!

I choose to believe TRUTH!

JESUS loves me enough to give His life for me.

He loves others.

I trust Him. I give up my "rights" and love others.

There's such freedom in that!