Thursday, August 26, 2010

When Ministry HURTS!

A few months ago I sweet lady that was once in our youth
ministry contacted me because her pastor/husband was
experiencing very difficult situations in their church/ministry.
I typed a number of thoughts off the top of my head.
Now, some months later I've decided to post these.

If you're married, read this... even if you don't hold a
" ministry title" this may be helpful to you & your husband...
if not now... at some point.

- It's good that you're very aware that it's the enemy
that's attacking you, not people

- Defending ourselves never helps... it henders

- I've had to smile and nod (and not say a word, OFTEN!)

- It's helpful for wives to listen to their husbands
but not ask too many questions, don't give advice that
requires action and don't join in the conversation with
comments like "Wow, that guy is really a jerk!"

- On the flip side, sometimes, after much listening,
a wife can gently sympathize by saying things like,
"I can see why this is so poopy for you. I love you, Honey.
How is God directing you to respond to this situation?"

- Wives can spare their husbands some (at least a little) pain
by not constantly expressing our own pain.
I'm not saying to be fake, or dishonest, but if wives are
quick to show our hurt & unhappiness then it puts pressure
on our husbands to solve the situation quickly to spare
further pain on the one they love... this can sometimes
cause rash action that's later regretted.

- Wives can find great strength in pouring their deepest hurt
and pain alone with JESUS. (obviously) And then venting
with a trust friend who is NOT in the same ministry location
that she is.

- Your prayers for your husband are your greatest blessing.

- Try to maintain some sense of "normal" around the house
and talk about other things so that "home" is a retreat to him
and not just another place where he has to deal with
more of the same.

- I've learned that guys sometimes process things in silence
(unlike girls who talk out thoughts & emotion). So, be OK with
quiet times together. Him knowing that you're there and
loving him & going about "normal" things will encourage &
strengthen him (possibly more than he may know at this point).

- Nothing lasts forever... except JESUS! and Jesus is worth it all!
While reading the NT I'm constantly reminded that the trials we
endure in the USA are minor.

- Fight to forgive. Of course they don't deserve it...
but neither do we.

- "JESUS!!!!!" (just say His name outloud a few times!)

I love being in ministry... even though I've walked through
some painful situations. If you're dealing with hurt then
I pray that this encourages you & gives you something
practical to put into action.


mo said...

Great and helpful to read your thoughts, even if it was for the ladies!

Nicki said...

So good Netta. I grew up as a pastor's kid so I know first-hand the pain that can come along with being in leadership and also the unmatched blessing when you walk in wisdom. Now as an adult I see the Lord moving myself and my husband into leadership and I'm shaking in my boots ... I know what comes with this. Lord make me ready.

Mary Beth said...

You are such a wise woman! I love ya Friend. Thanks for such vital reminders.

Erin said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmm thanks for sharing your wisdom! Been focusing on speaking less and with more purpose. Miss you!