When Ministry HURTS!

A few months ago I sweet lady that was once in our youth

ministry contacted me because her pastor/husband was

experiencing very difficult situations in their church/ministry.

I typed a number of thoughts off the top of my head.

Now, some months later I've decided to post these.

If you're married, read this... even if you don't hold a

" ministry title" this may be helpful to you & your husband...

if not now... at some point.

- It's good that you're very aware that it's the enemy

that's attacking you, not people

- Defending ourselves never helps... it henders

- I've had to smile and nod (and not say a word, OFTEN!)

- It's helpful for wives to listen to their husbands

but not ask too many questions, don't give advice that

requires action and don't join in the conversation with

comments like "Wow, that guy is really a jerk!"

- On the flip side, sometimes, after much listening,

a wife can gently sympathize by saying things like,

"I can see why this is so poopy for you. I love you, Honey.

How is God directing you to respond to this situation?"

- Wives can spare their husbands some (at least a little) pain

by not constantly expressing our own pain.

I'm not saying to be fake, or dishonest, but if wives are

quick to show our hurt & unhappiness then it puts pressure

on our husbands to solve the situation quickly to spare

further pain on the one they love... this can sometimes

cause rash action that's later regretted.

- Wives can find great strength in pouring their deepest hurt

and pain alone with JESUS. (obviously) And then venting

with a trust friend who is NOT in the same ministry location

that she is.

- Your prayers for your husband are your greatest blessing.

- Try to maintain some sense of "normal" around the house

and talk about other things so that "home" is a retreat to him

and not just another place where he has to deal with

more of the same.

- I've learned that guys sometimes process things in silence

(unlike girls who talk out thoughts & emotion). So, be OK with

quiet times together. Him knowing that you're there and

loving him & going about "normal" things will encourage &

strengthen him (possibly more than he may know at this point).

- Nothing lasts forever... except JESUS! and Jesus is worth it all!

While reading the NT I'm constantly reminded that the trials we

endure in the USA are minor.

- Fight to forgive. Of course they don't deserve it...

but neither do we.

- "JESUS!!!!!" (just say His name outloud a few times!)

I love being in ministry... even though I've walked through

some painful situations. If you're dealing with hurt then

I pray that this encourages you & gives you something

practical to put into action.