Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Shh... or not?

Have you noticed that it's often our tendency to clam up,
stop communicating, keep things tucked inside
when we MOST need to express them?

What's the deal?

Maybe guilt? ...
"We shouldn't think this, we're Christians, we're supposed to turn
the other check."

Maybe hurt?...
"The other person should be the one to initiate this conversation."

Maybe anger?...
"I have to cool down first, then say something."
(but that was weeks ago)

Maybe fear?...
"Saying something will just make it worse."
(but being quiet just breaks things down anyway)

Maybe the Martyr syndrom?...
"I'll just suck it up. No biggie."
(but it is or you wouldn't still be thinking about it)

or Maybe any one of a zillion other reasons...

Ephesians 4 (several verses)

"Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other,
making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."

"Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes."

24 "You must display a new nature because you are a new person,
created in God's likeness – righteous, holy, and true.
25 So put away all falsehood and "tell your neighbor the truth"
because we belong to each other.
26 And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you."
Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry,
27 for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. "

I have to check my own heart & motives first (through prayer).
Then proceed with humility and caution.

How do you decide when you should speak up?
How do you motivate yourself to speak up,
to confront, to say what's going on inside...
without being a jerk or full of accusations?


Zachary said...

Good post

SarahMae said...

I think that this is also a big deal when we're not hurting so much in our pride but when we're really hurting emotionally. It's always just so much easier to ignore the problem until you think it's gone away and then admit that, yeah, you have some issues.

Anonymous said...

As always...a good word my sister.

Much luv, Stephanie

Margie said...

This is so good, I don't speak up until my feelings are so hurt that its projectile word vomit. God is so working on this with me...

erica said...

VERY timely post, netta. thank you.

Brownie said...

Aw.. but the question remains...

How do you do this "without being a jerk or full of accusations?"

Not easy.

Netta said...

True, Brownie.
I've found that I'm the most like Jesus when I remember than NONE of us DESERVE HIs love & forgiveness,but He still loves us.
And, that He loves me as much as He loves the one who has hurt me. It's like a reality check and helps me be more willing to treat the other person with more kindness...
or at least a calm voice & thought-out words.
Thanks for commenting.